Just do it

How to keep going part two

Sometimes I need a kick in the ass. And most of the time the only kick that will work is when I kick my own ass. I’m not a coachable person. Even my personal trainer who is slowly getting me past three-pounds, is a very sweet and gentle woman. I would never respond well to being yelled at or even encouraged too much—I find it obnoxious. Other people’s thoughts and opinions of me weigh far less than my own. Am I alone in this?

Anyway, after I wrote that last bit about keeping on, I was annoyed with myself for whining. I’m not really a whiner. I’m actually an over-achieving nightmare—for me, my bank account, and probably sometimes my family. I felt sorry for myself for about 2 minutes, and then decided to just do it.

So, this is what I did. I made another book.

Okay, so I didn’t just write a whole novel in five days. I wrote this YA back around 2015-2016, shortly after I graduated from Vermont College of Fine Arts. It had a different title, and it went out on sub, and got immediate responses. It was a different time then, when editors were on top of their shit in a way that makes me wonder if the industry will ever be like that again. A top editor at Scholastic wanted it, she absolutely loved the two main characters—Lia and Trystin—but as the story goes for so many of my projects, she could not get it through all the gatekeepers. It was my first almost-first book-deal and I remember being on the phone with her and thinking how the amazing thing was about to happen. It was so exciting. Until it wasn’t.

Since then it has been growing mold in a file on my computer. However, like all of my “almosts” I’ve been polishing and tinkering and improving the draft over the last year, something that’s been keeping me going, frankly. I bought a book cover, hired a great editor friend to help me clean up the manuscript, and then I put her up in Kindle Create and BING BANG BOOM!

You can preorder Searching for Sky now on Amazon.

A very quick blurb:

Searching for Sky is about the importance of women friends and finding purpose within ourselves. A feminist On the Road meets Thelma and Louise for young adults.

When Lia Tillman hits the road in search of her sister, the last thing she expects to discover is herself.

Lia Tillman is the Burger King Baby. Abandoned in the fast food chain’s restroom as a newborn, Lia never met her natural parents. She’s always wondered what they might have been like, but she knows her mother died and her father has never been identified. The summer after her junior year, her family drops the news that she has a sister, Skylar, who she’s never met. Lia’s determined to find her sibling with the hopes Skylar might know a little about the family they both come from.

Lia and her best friend Trystin set out on a summer road trip disguised as an opportunity for Trystin to photograph abandoned towns and buildings for her college portfolio as they make their way to Skylar’s home. What unfolds is a hilarious and harrowing road trip that tests the bonds of family, both blood and chosen, and the strength of a friendship amid crisis and self-discovery.

Experimenting is super fun. I have never been particularly precious about my work, and now I feel even more freedom in doing whatever I want. At the same time, I purposely chose a pen name for this book because I still hope for an eventual traditional YA debut. Though, in reality, I don’t know if any of the rules matter any more. The whole idea of someone plucking me out of obscurity and making me a sudden success is absurd, but I think that’s what a lot of writers cling to. I did for a while, so I get it. My career is a slow burn, and that’s just fine. At this point, if anyone reads anything, it’s enough. And learning All The Things is really what drives me, anyway, so the process of self-publishing has been an incredibly challenging, but rewarding puzzle to figure out.

Now I’m just trying to decide what to conquer next…