Serendipity

on something I don't believe in, but sometimes have a hard time denying

I often lead with “I’m not a spiritual person” but there have been a few times in my life in which circumstances have forced me to examine that statement and ask myself if I’m being truthful. Interestingly, I never had these self-questioning experiences when I was smack dab in the middle of a fundamental evangelical circle. It wasn’t until I walked away from all of that, declared myself agnostic, then atheist, that I started to experience magic.

One of the biggest: meeting my life partner. I was off in search of one thing, and found him in addition. Falling in love with Joe was a gift I had no idea I needed so badly. In our earliest days, we spent long stretches of time just looking into each other eyes, examining, questioning, wondering how it was possible we felt like we’d known each other our entire lives while simultaneously thinking “here you finally are”. I’m sure we sickened everyone around us for a while, but it was hard not to think our meeting was divinely inspired.

Sometimes a perfect sunset on the ridge over yonder, or a giant luna moth on our porch, or the baby green of sweet pea seedlings is enough for me to admit I am spiritual, perhaps just not in a way most people think of defining that word.

And then there are weeks like this one, when seemingly different worlds collide in an unexplainable way. When a good friend wakes up one morning and has a small (or maybe enormous—time will tell) epiphany about something barely on your radar, but you listen, and consider. And all the years of knowledge, experience, and practice come together in a single pitch, woven together by a friend’s belief, her sharing a piece of information, and your “what do I have to lose” attitude.

I have a really good feeling about this particular magic. And I’ll share more in the coming weeks, but for now, I’m going to bask in the strange, but fascinating set of coincidences that have led me here. And most importantly, be grateful for all of the people who have believed in me when I could not find reason to.