I relate to this big time! I have always had the disembodied head phenomenon, as well as a complete disconnect in how people view me and what they expect from me, like my outer shell is a poor advertisement for what occurs within. Now, as I enter menopause I’ve been hitting the gym twice a week, PT for balance to manage Menieres - I’m more a resident in this body now than I’ve ever been. It’s a strange feeling. Wholeness, but my interiority has suffered. Less time in my head has meant less writing.
Oh my gosh me too on the less writing. Or at least I've had a huge shift from kids fiction to this Substack "column" I've created and personal journalling (plus my marketing job is all about writing about my county). Fiction requires you to disappear for a long time and I haven't had it in me the last couple years. I guess that's good in some ways, but I also desperately miss it.
having come out the "other side" of the horrors of perimenopause/menopause...I had an awful regression this week with brutal hot flashes, heart palpitations, the EKG visit to be sure I wasn't dying, etc... I love your piece. The mess and uncertainty and beauty of it all...the mind that feels so inescapable and the 54-year-old me who is working daily to fully embrace the strength of this persistent and badass body, the one who holds me up despite of and because of it all. Thanks for sharing...and I, too, had a very similar reading experience with All Fours. You are mighty. WE are mighty.
I relate to this big time! I have always had the disembodied head phenomenon, as well as a complete disconnect in how people view me and what they expect from me, like my outer shell is a poor advertisement for what occurs within. Now, as I enter menopause I’ve been hitting the gym twice a week, PT for balance to manage Menieres - I’m more a resident in this body now than I’ve ever been. It’s a strange feeling. Wholeness, but my interiority has suffered. Less time in my head has meant less writing.
Oh my gosh me too on the less writing. Or at least I've had a huge shift from kids fiction to this Substack "column" I've created and personal journalling (plus my marketing job is all about writing about my county). Fiction requires you to disappear for a long time and I haven't had it in me the last couple years. I guess that's good in some ways, but I also desperately miss it.
So many things in this one. Thank you for writing. I will share more comments after I digest more.
Have you read All Fours?
I have not
having come out the "other side" of the horrors of perimenopause/menopause...I had an awful regression this week with brutal hot flashes, heart palpitations, the EKG visit to be sure I wasn't dying, etc... I love your piece. The mess and uncertainty and beauty of it all...the mind that feels so inescapable and the 54-year-old me who is working daily to fully embrace the strength of this persistent and badass body, the one who holds me up despite of and because of it all. Thanks for sharing...and I, too, had a very similar reading experience with All Fours. You are mighty. WE are mighty.
It doesn't seem fair that it continues for so long! I don't feel so mighty, but I'm going to hold on to that. <3